There is so much I want to do right now, there are so many things I'm looking forward to doing. But there are also parts of me that don't want to do those things because if I do I leave things behind. Things I love, people I love and lost, memories I don't want to give up. 

*listens to Audrey Hepburn sing Moonriver*

The thing is moving forward when there is so much to let go of is hard, harder than I expected. It means asking for help in unlikely places, and from unlikely people. It means cutting off, burning bridges, and not turning back. For me I know I need to move forward, and not once consider the alternative future that could've been. 

*lets housemate into the house* 

The problem with losing someone you care about is that you need to find you again. A you that doesn't co-exist alongside their values all the time any more, a you that stands alone to face the world and everything in it. A you that is the truest for of yourself in that moment. 

Moving forward is as scary as it is freeing,  as exciting as it is painful. Cause damn this will be hard, but I'm going to do my best. 

XO, Miriam