"I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen" - Fifteen by Taylor Swift
I still don't know who I am meant to be in this life, I have so many ideas that run at full speed through my head in the hope that some day I will catch one and run with it. But until then I shall wander through the gardens of old houses and write scruffy words and weird meaningless drawing on lined paper.
Maybe it was the way I was brought up or the number of times I read the Narnia collection that influenced my love of old houses and their formal gardens. There is something magical about them, that makes me feel like I am living in a fairytale or I should be swanning around in Downton Abbey style dresses...
An open door to the not so secret garden...
Pages from the last couple of days in my journal, some days it is 4 or 5 pages of solid writing and then other days I draw and write. I get the majority of my inspiration for this blog from my journal so I guess my blog is the best bits of my ideas that I scrawl in black ink and watercolours.
XO, Miriam
Les fleurs et les mots.
English Mademoiselle
Friday, April 18, 2014
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| The photo card says: "You're my cup of tea" and it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland so it has been added to my wall. |
Lately I have be wondering about my blog, and what it is for now I have completed the CAS programme section of the IB. I considered whether it could go in new directions, or if it should be removed entirely. I came to the conclusion that it shall go in new directions, ones that suit me not the few people who read my blog. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate them reading, but I believe that for me at least having a blog should be for me.
Now I have decided to get back into blogging for me more than I have over the past few months, and for that I need to be more comfortable with myself both internally and externally, which I hope I will be able to achieve more easily when I have finished my exams. I also want it to be a place to recorded my thoughts and internal monologues that I keep in a neat on the outside but scruffy on the inside journal. There is no time like the present to begin a new way of thinking and therefore typing.
So here goes nothing important to everyone but me:
I guess this is something I have always wanted to do, cover up "that" school logo, with it's obnoxious motto. But I also know that "that" school and it's logo shaped me to be who I am today, whether that be good or bad.
"This world is all so real and fake. Only what you experience is real, what you see with your eyes and believe in your heart, everything else fades into nothingness compared to those memories of what you have done." - mon journal intime
Blurred images and unrealistic ideas of what I should be to "fit in" hide under this bowler hat. All of those stupid, crazy, fansical (is that even a word?) dreams that spill out on to pages of paper filled with in and ideas of my own personal wonderland fill my head when I take myself away from people where I sit nervously, never knowing how to act or what to say.
//Tee - Zara//Blazer - School//Trousers - Fat Face// Hat - Topshop//
XO, Miriam
Bowler Hats and Diary Entries.
English Mademoiselle
Sunday, April 13, 2014