The English Mademoiselle Diaries: lbloggers

Showing posts with label lbloggers. Show all posts

Recently two of my favourite bloggers have tackled the idea of self-worth and self-esteem. Carrie from WishWishWish wrote a wonderful piece about body image here, while Sammy from Little Fickle wrote a personal post about Looks VS. Worth here. There are so many things I would like to say about self-worth but most of all that no one else should be able to affect it.

I couldn't think of a way to phrase this other than in what I consider to be the "English Literature style exam" style question:

Can your aesthetic ever be the same as your metaphorical worth?

The simple answer is no, but as with all English Literature questions it is complicated. The reality is that the way in which you present yourself to others through your body language, make-up, clothes and all the rest does impact the way you feel, and does make a part of your total self worth.

You cannot value yourself just through the way you happen to look on any given day, linked to that is that you will never be up to everyone's beauty standards so don't expect to be. Don't get me wrong look after your physical appearance but just don't make it the reason you like yourself. Because we all have hundreds of other qualities that make use special and good enough for you.

I can fall into the habit of believing I am not good enough just as much as the next person can especially when it comes to looks. I guess I am a product of my generation, with a tendency to prioritise the way I look so that it equals my self-worth, but it doesn't there are so many other reasons why I am good enough, I just can't always see it.I just cannot believe I have allowed for it to impact my life for so long.

YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO YOURSELF.

XO, Miriam

I am dreaming of the coast at winter, cold harsh and salty. The sea in winter is to me the power of nature.
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Dear Winter,

You let December creep up so silently, quickly, I an unsure as to where I should my place my thoughts anymore. Being in between places is strange, halfway to insanity and halfway to success, every decision in the next three weeks will decide which half will take all of me. And lately I have been wondering if the escape I found in my new city and home that I love so dearly is worth it. Because on paper it seemed to like the perfect plan but things are never quite a simple as they appear to be, and hardly ever is reality the dream you imagined for weeks on end.

It isn't about how many time you fall apart but how many you put yourself back together.

Or at least that is what they say.

Winter you get to me physically as well as mentally I guess they agree in that way at least. My hands and feet are rarely warm, and almost every slight bit of exposed skin loses all feeling. Kinda like the way I stop feeling deeply during the grey months despite my love of that haunting colour between the sea and the sky. And yet you bring a cosy and loved up atmosphere rarely paralleled by other seasons to our small lives.

I honestly believe that your intentions are good but I wish it was easier than you make it seem.

XO, Miriam

No stranger would it be.

//Coat - Jack Wills//T-shirt - Zara// Dress worn as skirt - H&M//Tights - Primark//Shoes - Converse//

As November draws to a close that layers have begun to increase slowly along with the number of pairs of tights I am washing per week. Fortunately this morning I had a bit more time on my hands to wear something other than my usual jeans and a tee combo like the majority of students (I couldn't go without my daily Converse though). This outfit has the advantage that not only am I warm due to the abundance of layers, but you still look put together thanks to the lace. I chose to spin a more grungy look today but I might experiment with a more vampy look when I wear this dress out at night.

XO, Miriam

P.S. If you haven't already listen to the The Hanging Tree from the Mockingjay Part 1 Score, it is hauntingly good.

Dear Winter,

I have been busy I guess. But I found time to start writing a journal again the other day, I don't know what it is but I have started to write down all the random little things that make me happy or sad throughout the day. If you look at the all of the words on the page they seem so insignificant but is there any other way of recording how you feel at that moment? I have begun to draw again, if you can call it that making up little stories in my head about love and wanderlust.

Do they like me? How can you tell when to stop trying? How do you admit that you need help? He said I love you. Maybe we should go and see that film you were on about... Fast forward. "I love you too." I heard myself say back. Could it be true? This isn't the escape she thought it would be, she thought a new city would help. But you cannot run from the problems that live in your head.
- A collection of sentences that I wrote down together the other day, questions, memories and escape.

Hopefully next week will be better.

XO, Miriam

Recently my friends at university have reintroduced me to the works of Studio Ghibli. Having been a fan of My Neighbour Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service, this seemed like the most logical film to re-watch next. Besides the usual magic that Studio Ghibli works on all of their films this story brought for me into question public and personal perception as well as age being no barrier to adventure.Naturally I have favourite characters and ones that I dislike but also kinda like because they change how I view the world.

Sophie is not only the main character but also my favourite character because her determination once she has been cursed is completely inspiring. So what she is now quadruple her age?! Her ability to remain curious and adventurous despite the attitude of Howl and some of the other characters is somewhat impressive. Next up is Calcifer, no real reason except this little ball of fire is super cute and just a little bit sassy!

The film is set in a fantasy version of World War One, and was made during the US invasion of Iraq, resulting in Hayao Miyazaki creating a strong anti-war message alongside all the other good morals placed in the film. Like you know: don't be greedy, don't abuse your magical powers, and all the others...

Unsurprisingly I adored this film the second time round even more than I did the first. And as Sophie said:

"Well, a heart's a heavy burden."

If you have never watched any Studio Ghibli this is a great film to start with, there is a moving castle powered by a talking fire demon, with a young wizard in training who gives himself a beard to answer the door, a love story and a dare I say it a hot animated male character named Howl.

XO, Miriam

//Jacket - Topshop//Jumper - Primark//Skirt - ASOS//Tights - TU//Boots - M&S//

I never thought I would be one for long skirts and the Chelsea boot but alas the moment has come that I am dressing to match the presence of the city I live in. Living in Oxford but not going to one of the colleges is weird because you can still act like a tourist when you roam the cobbled back streets surrounding Oxford University. (I study at Oxford Brookes just so you know). This deep green skirt reminds me of the ivy that used to grow around my garden back in Devon as well as that I definitely feel impeccably well dressed every time I wear it making it one of this winters staples for me! Alongside the usual culprits my moto jacket and suede Chelsea boots.

XO, Miriam

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Dear Winter,

November you took Autumn faster than I wanted you to. You have made my breath turns a hazy white, breathless from my evening run and the cold closing around my lungs. Winter you make it hard to live sometimes, wrapped in layer upon layer of knitwear and fumbling to unlock the front door with shivering hands. But it is as the moments when I have made no attempt to wear thermal sports wear when I feel the cold hit my bones that I feel most alive. One thing I regret about past winters is talking myself into disliking you Winter, but really I relish staying indoors with a cup of chai and a book (or magazine) escaping from the world and clinging hot red Starbucks mugs for dear life. I hope to enjoy the best of you this year Winter.

XO, Miriam

On Thursday evening I made my way to the city of Bath to attend a blogger event hosted by DUO Boots. When I arrived I was unsure as to what to expect, except of course other bloggers! When I arrived I was greeted by two other bloggers who's names I have forgotten (typical) and we entered the store where we were offered champagne. It had been approximately a year since I had been to a blogger event so I experienced the same feeling of awkwardness to start with but after a while I relaxed and got round to discussing shoes with all of the other bloggers.

Part of the event was being able to choose a pair of boots to be gifted by the company I chose these gorgeous Mena boots that make me feel like Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl strutting my stuff through the upper east side so naturally I cannot wait for them to arrive!

By far the best part of the event was being able to meet and talk to other bloggers, some of which I have met before and some that I haven't!

XO, Miriam

Dear October,

You are not the worst month of the year with the kind of cold that sinks into my bones, but you aren't my favourite month either with the warmth that touches my skin as soon as I leave the comfort of my house. I can still see the sun but you don't quite let me feel the warmth that I love so dearly. So on go the coats, the knitwear and my refusal to believe that I might need to bring an umbrella and a mug of tea with me every morning when I catch the bus to my lectures. But it was as I made my way back from yesterdays set of morning lectures and seminars through the scattered fallen leaves and cracks in the pavement; I realised that is spring is hope then autumn is promise.

XO, Miriam

I have reached that stage at in my first semester at university where my flat in halls has started to feel like home rather than a youth hostel, and I have made some great friends. But lets be honest we all have days where nothing seems to go your way and all you want to do is binge watch Gossip Girl and eat an entire pot of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I didn't do that actually, I went to my lectures and ate lunch before then collapsing in my room, and doodling in my journal.The jumper I am wearing was an impulse buy from the other day from H&M, and I am so glad I bought it, there is nothing better than a comfy jumper on cold autumn afternoons, am I right?

XO, Miriam

Yesterday evening I was writing down a list of things I want to do during A/W14. And some of the things I came up with I felt needed to be shared, so here is my bucket list for this Autumn and Winter Season:

Smile: It isn't that I don't smile at all but I think that I need to smile more. Some days I find I get to caught up in the stresses of life. Also someone once told me that just by smiling your mood improves.

Drink more tea: As much as like the majority of the fashion blogging community I am partial to a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte, I do favour tea. Not because I am British (that probably plays a part) but because I freaking love tea. Not the general purpose tea though, I really enjoy trying new kinds of herbal teas along with several cups of green tea.

Interact with new people: this is my first semester of university and I feel like this one is unavoidable. Having said that I do get very nervous about talking to new people and have a tendency to retreat to my room to avoid social interaction. I am setting myself the challenge to make friends at university in and out of my classes.

Finish the A Song Of Ice And Fire book series: I am two books into the series so I have a fair way to go, but last year during the second year of IB I realised I stopped reading for pleasure because of my studies so while I am at university I want to prevent this from occurring again by finishing all of the books by the 1st of December.

XO, Miriam

//Dress - Zara//Watch - Unknown//Socks - Topshop//Brogues - Clarkes//

Sometimes simple outfits are the best outfits, cue a dress and some shoes. I am officially living in Oxford now already to start lectures next week at Oxford Brookes but for now I am experiencing freshers week. Which is all kinds of fun and crazy not to mention the nights out... During the day I have been enrolling for my course buying little bits I forgot to buy last weekend when I arrived to comfort is key, this dress fits the bill perfectly. It also makes me feel like an off duty model at New York Fashion Week... Just me okay.

XO, Miriam

As I have mentioned in the last couple of "rambly" posts I am off to University. Oxford Brookes to be precise, to study English Literature and Publishing Media. I am excited and worried in equal measures at the moment, and incredibly that I have a list of outfits I want to shoot but I cannot until next week when I have unpacked all of my clothes.

After the second year of the IB, I feel like I can face anything academically even if this does mean I will not settle for low grades easily... So this semester I plan to start as I mean to go on AKA get organised. Hopefully I can do that with the help of the above items:

A moleskin planner - one this one is pink so it instantly made it even more fabulous than moleskin items already are. I liked this one because as much as I loved my lego one last year there just wasn't enough room for all of my assignments and deadlines.
My headphones - obnoxious and the looks silly on me but I like to shut out when I am doing school work or working out so these will work perfectly. I can work to normal music (some kinda freak I know) but recently I have been loving reading up on things while listening to classical film soundtracks (Harry Potter, The Hobbit etc)
A photo of my sister and I - A little something to keep me motivated and a reason to smile while I am working my butt off at my desk.
A pencil case - I hate taking notes or making list in anything other than pen on paper, I also have coloured pens, highlighters and sticky notes in there.
My notebook of lists and stuff - I love a good list, nuff said.
The Rucksack - I bought this beauty by Hershal from Urban Outfitters the other day having put away the money slowly all summer to get it. I do not regret the amount I spent on the little America bag I cannot wait to use it to keep all of my daily essentials including my laptop in.

XO, Miriam

Now I am partial to flowers but after my mum's fiftieth birthday we had them in vases all over the house and yes they are gorgeous and smell amazing. Except the lilies I don't like lilies all that much. Flowers are very quickly becoming the inspiration for a few projects I am working on currently.

In other news I move out and head to university next week, and I am actually really excited. I have already decided which modules I want to take and checked out all of the clubs and societies ready for Freshers Week. I will be documenting all of my adventures at university here.

XO, Miriam

So back in August I began "the long journey" as the guy behind the Waterstones counter called it, in to the A Song of Ice and Fire series. Hvaing watched the first 6 episodes of Game of Thrones television series I decided I wanted to read the books first then compare the storylines by binge watching the televised version afterwards. At some points in the books I rejoiced that each chapter is about a different character, but sometimes I would have to wait several chapters to go back to a storyline I really wanted to know more about. But my frustration came not from the style of writing but from the connection to the characters and the deep immersion in to Westeros that George R.R. Martin creates.

I personally view myself as either Sansa Stark or Daenerys Targaryen. I mean who doesn't want to have the blood of the dragon, and to think Martin almost didn't include dragons in the novels! Shock horror I know... If the small-folk of Westeros don't enjoy the Game of Thrones played by those above them, I certainly do.

I am pressing rose petals in my copy now, what I juxtaposition to the story.

I listened to Troye Sivan and Lorde while reading this book, so as with all my books if a song comes on then I will start thing about the book. If you liked Lord of the Rings book then you will love this, and as with all good books there is a set of maps in the front of each of the books.

XO, Miriam

//Necklace - Accessorize//Shirt - Zara//Jeans - Hollister//

The colour of the sea and the sky, of my camera and of over half the items in my wardrobe. To me the colour blue is the colour that represents everything I love and hold dear. My favourite shade of blue is the one that is also a pale grey, the colour between the sea and the sky just before sunrise and just after sunset. It is the before and after light. It is the one colour I will wear without question, so people see blue in my eyes above all the other colours.

Blue is clear skies, deep pools of water, it is all the swimming pools I have ever used for therapy swimming, the numerous pairs of jeans I have worn to destruction, my preferred colour to write in, the colour of my bed sheets and the colour of love.