The English Mademoiselle Diaries

Since going vegan back in January there have been a few meals that I have missed, the main one being chilli as my mum always used to make with Quorn or I would have it with turkey mince when cooking for myself at uni last year. And because I can't even imagine eating meat anymore let alone believe the idea that it is 'healthy' I decided to make a less processed version using whole plant based foods and fresh ingredients that my body will thrive on.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup of canned or soaked kidney beans
1/2 cup of canned or soaked black beans
1/4 cup pearl barley (optional)
1 small can of sweetcorn
2 cups of whole cherry tomatoes
1 can of canned tomatoes
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp cumin powder
2 pieces of dark chocolate
1 onion finely chopped
1 bell pepper
1 clove of garlic crushed

Method:

1. Heat a non-stick pan over a medium heat, and soften the onion and garlic in a small amount of water.

2. Add the bell pepper and the cherry tomatoes, allow to heat up for about 5mins.

3. Stir in the chilli powder and cumin powder.

4. Pop the now soft cherry tomatoes and stir in the beans and canned tomatoes.

5. Leave to simmer for about 5 minutes, then stir in the dark chocolate (I used dark chilli chocolate this time but it doesn't make much of a difference) and add salt and pepper to taste.

6. Turn down to a low heat and stir in the pearl barley if you are using any.

7. Allow to cook for about 30 mins on a low heat.

8. Serve with rice and tortillas or potatoes.

9. Eat.

I also add nutritional yeast and sriracha to mine because I add them to everything...

XO, Miriam

Forever out of focus.

have debated writing this post, so many times now, I have written it out and deleted it more times than I can count. So the thing is after someone very close to me left my life I kept going to talk to them, say things I know from experience I shouldn't so I started typing all the texts and wanted to send out on the notes section of my phone. This is the result of a couple of months of trying not to talk to someone I used to talk to every day.

10th March:

I miss you

Can I talk to you?

I love you, I don't think I will ever stop

Why?

11th March:

Good morning

I just want to cuddle with you and escape this life

I wish you were still someone I could talk to about everything, I don't have anyone like that anymore and that scares me

Come back?

12th March:

I missed your face this morning, I wanted to make breakfast with you and watch anime

I decided to get some professional help today, hope you are doing okay.

Why?! God damn it why?! I can't do this, it's killing me, please talk to me, please come back

17th March:

This isn't okay, I should have fought and I know that I should've fought for you for us because God damn it I miss you. I would do anything to have you back right now, I know you won't take me but I need you. I love you. I really hope you remember that because I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Sorry.

20th March:

I think I lied the other night when we spoke on the phone. I'm not sure I will ask you to consider. Maybe, the only thing I know is I miss having a friend who would do anything for me, who would look after me at my worst and at my best. I miss being able to be there for you when you hit rock bottom or when you are on a high. So I guess thank you for all of that.

7th April:

How are you?

18th April:

I thought I was done grieving over what we lost, and looking forward to friendship and everything else. But I'm not sure I am, you're still always there in the back of my mind, you're the one I want to talk to if I feel down. I miss the way you used to hold me until I was okay again, the way we could talk for hours or feel comfortable not talking at all in the same room. A friend of ours asked me if I was over you if I was talking to anyone else yet if I was okay. My answers were yes, no, yes respectively. Every 'yes' was a lie.

19th April:

I miss talking to you.

21st April:

Last night was strange and I want to tell you about it, it was one of this best nights I have had in a while. And everything in me is telling me what I did was wrong, that I am cheating on you by kissing someone else, but I look at the reality and I'm not. I probably shouldn't tell you this but I think I will be okay without you. So what if he wasn't my type... So what if he wasn't the best-looking guy there, it was the confidence boost I needed to prove that I can move on from needing to talk to you. And finally, I think I am over this grief.

Thank you for teaching me that I am stronger than the loss of you, stronger than you want me to be, that I can do me without your validation of my actions. I'm sorry but I no longer think I'm in love with you.

23rd April:

And what if I told you I lied. What if I told you I still love you. Would it change things?

24th April:

I miss you, I miss everything about us, and I hate this, I hate that we wanted different things from ourselves. There is nothing I can do but scream 'what if' after 'what if' from the top of my lungs into my unflinching pillow before I sleep at night.

26th April:

Today I saw your name light up my phone, and everything in me is willing me not to fucking ring you. Cause God damn it I wish it didn't hurt that you don't reply when I ask how you are, I wish I could forget everything that happened between us, and I wish I could hate you but I fucking can't.

Please pick up.

9th May:

Thank you.

*disclaimer, texts have been edited to create this post, and some texts are missing due to the use of the person's name or reference to personal details I do not wish to discuss*

I am starting a new lil' series over here on the blog to help celebrate my favourite smaller designers.
And I'm starting with BANA a sunglasses brand created in 2014 the French/ Lebanese designer Tanya Hayek. They showed the Spring So Cute Collection at the show I saw, and I want a pair of all of them. I have seen sunglasses like this before with the floral embellishments but none with this amount of attention to detail. The brand doesn't just use the cliché roses, they have picked different flowers, with different shades, and for me what really makes them stand out is the use of different tints on the lenses to either contrast or compliment the floral designs. Now, of course, the best way to get to know a brand is to talk to the owner, and that is what I have done. So here begins an interview with Tanya Hayek the owner of BANA.

How would you sum up your brand?

I would say that every pair of sunglasses has a personality so by wearing them you are adopting that personality. And with the flowers, I believe that everyone is so beautiful and so everyone deserves to have a bouquet of flowers to match their personality.

If you could only wear one pair of your sunglasses for the rest of your life which pair would it be?

I could never wear one pair of sunglasses for the rest of my life I'm always changing which ones are my favourite about every three months or so depending on the season. But if I had to choose right now I would go for the Ceaser pair because they are so different from the normal flowers and pastels I normally work with. That and I am currently in Cannes ready to release my new collection near the time of the film festival, so this pair makes me feel like I am dressed to the standard of everyone else living and staying here.

Tea or coffee and how do you like it?

I love both but prefer tea because you can get so many different flavours so I always have a new favourite type. I also prefer it because it is healthier.

If you could live and work in any city in the world where would it be?

Not really a city but I would love to live in Hawaii!

How did you create the Spring So Cute collection?

The basic concept was based on going to the beach, and that I was bored of seeing the same sunglasses everywhere. So I made customised an old pair of my own, then a few compliments later and a push from a friend I starting selling them as a business.

Do you think this sort of embellishment could work for normal glasses/would you ever design normal glasses frames?

Yes totally! I take private orders in the town where I live, and people give me either a pair of sunglasses or normal specs for me to customise. I don't think I would create a glasses frames collection just yet because you can play around with sunglasses so much more.

Who are your favourite designers or artists to draw inspiration from?

Most of my sunglasses draw inspiration from the people I see around me, and the round shape comes from the iconic John Lennon glasses.

What are your favourite colours to work with?

I love to work with the colours of the sunset, I currently have a paint that goes from orange to yellow depending on the light you're under which has been really fun to work with.

A massive thank you to Tanya for letting me interview her, and if you want a pair of glasses by her ready for the summer and festival season head over to the BANA website!

XO, Miriam

*disclaimer, I am in no way sponsored to do this post.

//Top - People Tree//Skirt - UO//Cardigan - BooHoo// Pleather Sandals - New Look//

Oxford is still in that weird in-between phase of spring where it's not quite warm enough to go without tights, but it is too warm to wear more than two layers after midday. So here is my compromise between some of my summer staples and so of my leftover autumn and winter pieces before I put them away. I am still trying to experiment a bit more with my look so today I tried out some pieces that vary in length, and I am pretty happy with the result.

This is probably something I would wear out for dinner with friends or if I had a class presentation at uni, basically any time when you need to be a little smarter than your average jeans and a tee combo... Which if you know anything about me you is my go to thing to wear.

Have a wonderful day!

XO, MIRIAM

Hannh Sykes

Bana

Noora Pajari

Sabina Saga

Emanuela Giannelli Design

Hooray for in ability to blog at all for far to long, if I told you how long I have had this post pretty much ready to post you would fee embarrassed for me. So I will try to make this short. Now you may have seen that last season that I attended the OFS shows in Oxford, but while they were enchanting and showed me the wonderful mayhem that is pre-runway show it pales in comparison to the LFW shows. There was more of a buzz surrounding these shows, as well as an incredible location, Devonshire Square anyone?!

I am going to do a more in-depth post on one or two of the designers because I couldn't get over how much i loved their designs. But for now these are some of my favourite shots and looks from the shows. If you want to see more obviously head over to the OFS website (here) to take a closer look and find out about tickets for next season.

Sorry this post is oh so short, but I have so much to say about some of the designers that they need their own post or maybe a video I don't know yet. But it is coming I promise.

XO, Miriam

With so much going on in my life right now I'm struggling to find the space to just breathe.

In, out, in, out, in, out

And even when I do catch some time it is like watching time fall through my fingers like the way the sea moves past my body as I walk out into the surf. Where do you begin to look for the space to breathe?

I've found it in strange places: the utility room, on the swings, talking to the loveliest homeless woman on the way home from work, while sat drinking flat whites and green tea, just inside the front door. All of these places aren't new to me, they just happen to be the places I find the most peace. Where nothing reminds me of him, where I can breathe freely for a moment before my brain begins to start again.

XO, Miriam

There is so much I want to do right now, there are so many things I'm looking forward to doing. But there are also parts of me that don't want to do those things because if I do I leave things behind. Things I love, people I love and lost, memories I don't want to give up.

*listens to Audrey Hepburn sing Moonriver*

The thing is moving forward when there is so much to let go of is hard, harder than I expected. It means asking for help in unlikely places, and from unlikely people. It means cutting off, burning bridges, and not turning back. For me I know I need to move forward, and not once consider the alternative future that could've been.

*lets housemate into the house*

The problem with losing someone you care about is that you need to find you again. A you that doesn't co-exist alongside their values all the time any more, a you that stands alone to face the world and everything in it. A you that is the truest for of yourself in that moment.

Moving forward is as scary as it is freeing, as exciting as it is painful. Cause damn this will be hard, but I'm going to do my best.

XO, Miriam