The English Mademoiselle Diaries: lbloggers

Showing posts with label lbloggers. Show all posts

Recently two of my favourite bloggers have tackled the idea of self-worth and self-esteem. Carrie from WishWishWish wrote a wonderful piece about body image here, while Sammy from Little Fickle wrote a personal post about Looks VS. Worth here. There are so many things I would like to say about self-worth but most of all that no one else should be able to affect it.

I couldn't think of a way to phrase this other than in what I consider to be the "English Literature style exam" style question:

Can your aesthetic ever be the same as your metaphorical worth?

The simple answer is no, but as with all English Literature questions it is complicated. The reality is that the way in which you present yourself to others through your body language, make-up, clothes and all the rest does impact the way you feel, and does make a part of your total self worth.

You cannot value yourself just through the way you happen to look on any given day, linked to that is that you will never be up to everyone's beauty standards so don't expect to be. Don't get me wrong look after your physical appearance but just don't make it the reason you like yourself. Because we all have hundreds of other qualities that make use special and good enough for you.

I can fall into the habit of believing I am not good enough just as much as the next person can especially when it comes to looks. I guess I am a product of my generation, with a tendency to prioritise the way I look so that it equals my self-worth, but it doesn't there are so many other reasons why I am good enough, I just can't always see it.I just cannot believe I have allowed for it to impact my life for so long.

YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO YOURSELF.

XO, Miriam

I am dreaming of the coast at winter, cold harsh and salty. The sea in winter is to me the power of nature.
Source

Dear Winter,

You let December creep up so silently, quickly, I an unsure as to where I should my place my thoughts anymore. Being in between places is strange, halfway to insanity and halfway to success, every decision in the next three weeks will decide which half will take all of me. And lately I have been wondering if the escape I found in my new city and home that I love so dearly is worth it. Because on paper it seemed to like the perfect plan but things are never quite a simple as they appear to be, and hardly ever is reality the dream you imagined for weeks on end.

It isn't about how many time you fall apart but how many you put yourself back together.

Or at least that is what they say.

Winter you get to me physically as well as mentally I guess they agree in that way at least. My hands and feet are rarely warm, and almost every slight bit of exposed skin loses all feeling. Kinda like the way I stop feeling deeply during the grey months despite my love of that haunting colour between the sea and the sky. And yet you bring a cosy and loved up atmosphere rarely paralleled by other seasons to our small lives.

I honestly believe that your intentions are good but I wish it was easier than you make it seem.

XO, Miriam

No stranger would it be.

//Coat - Jack Wills//T-shirt - Zara// Dress worn as skirt - H&M//Tights - Primark//Shoes - Converse//

As November draws to a close that layers have begun to increase slowly along with the number of pairs of tights I am washing per week. Fortunately this morning I had a bit more time on my hands to wear something other than my usual jeans and a tee combo like the majority of students (I couldn't go without my daily Converse though). This outfit has the advantage that not only am I warm due to the abundance of layers, but you still look put together thanks to the lace. I chose to spin a more grungy look today but I might experiment with a more vampy look when I wear this dress out at night.

XO, Miriam

P.S. If you haven't already listen to the The Hanging Tree from the Mockingjay Part 1 Score, it is hauntingly good.

Dear Winter,

I have been busy I guess. But I found time to start writing a journal again the other day, I don't know what it is but I have started to write down all the random little things that make me happy or sad throughout the day. If you look at the all of the words on the page they seem so insignificant but is there any other way of recording how you feel at that moment? I have begun to draw again, if you can call it that making up little stories in my head about love and wanderlust.

Do they like me? How can you tell when to stop trying? How do you admit that you need help? He said I love you. Maybe we should go and see that film you were on about... Fast forward. "I love you too." I heard myself say back. Could it be true? This isn't the escape she thought it would be, she thought a new city would help. But you cannot run from the problems that live in your head.
- A collection of sentences that I wrote down together the other day, questions, memories and escape.

Hopefully next week will be better.

XO, Miriam

Recently my friends at university have reintroduced me to the works of Studio Ghibli. Having been a fan of My Neighbour Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service, this seemed like the most logical film to re-watch next. Besides the usual magic that Studio Ghibli works on all of their films this story brought for me into question public and personal perception as well as age being no barrier to adventure.Naturally I have favourite characters and ones that I dislike but also kinda like because they change how I view the world.

Sophie is not only the main character but also my favourite character because her determination once she has been cursed is completely inspiring. So what she is now quadruple her age?! Her ability to remain curious and adventurous despite the attitude of Howl and some of the other characters is somewhat impressive. Next up is Calcifer, no real reason except this little ball of fire is super cute and just a little bit sassy!

The film is set in a fantasy version of World War One, and was made during the US invasion of Iraq, resulting in Hayao Miyazaki creating a strong anti-war message alongside all the other good morals placed in the film. Like you know: don't be greedy, don't abuse your magical powers, and all the others...

Unsurprisingly I adored this film the second time round even more than I did the first. And as Sophie said:

"Well, a heart's a heavy burden."

If you have never watched any Studio Ghibli this is a great film to start with, there is a moving castle powered by a talking fire demon, with a young wizard in training who gives himself a beard to answer the door, a love story and a dare I say it a hot animated male character named Howl.

XO, Miriam

//Jacket - Topshop//Jumper - Primark//Skirt - ASOS//Tights - TU//Boots - M&S//

I never thought I would be one for long skirts and the Chelsea boot but alas the moment has come that I am dressing to match the presence of the city I live in. Living in Oxford but not going to one of the colleges is weird because you can still act like a tourist when you roam the cobbled back streets surrounding Oxford University. (I study at Oxford Brookes just so you know). This deep green skirt reminds me of the ivy that used to grow around my garden back in Devon as well as that I definitely feel impeccably well dressed every time I wear it making it one of this winters staples for me! Alongside the usual culprits my moto jacket and suede Chelsea boots.

XO, Miriam