The English Mademoiselle Diaries

//T-Shirt - Zara//Trousers - Monsoon//Shoes - Toms (not in shot)//

These are the days I crave during the spring months, when it is summer and winter all at once, during the day you wear fewer and fewer layers, but retreat to central heating and your trust knitwear in the twilight hours. I have been spending a lot of time dreaming about traveling to new places, but I have also spent a lot of time appreciating the city that I live in. Time spent in easy outfits having easy days when I'm not in lectures is perfect. And I have to say these trousers are great for walking around in, I cannot believe I almost threw out these beauties.

Besides being incredibly comfortable the t-shirt defines a lot about me, I always have an incessant need to move around, I hate staying in the same place for long periods of time. Life becomes frustrating and monotonous when I settle, and things just aren't as clear. I think the thing I like most about moving around is the journey, I can read all the books I have been meaning to read or daydream to my hearts content. When I say I suffer from wanderlust I don't just mean physically, I want to let my mind and soul travel to new places to, and discover new things.

xo, miriam

I will miss the night. A short story.

It was odd to be back in school, the summer had been made up dreams, but mostly long nights smoking with 'them', It was weird to think that their faces will one day be gone from my memory, and just the heady smoke will take their place. The smoke will take everything eventually but for now I begin to settle back to the routine of late night essays and parties where I try to remember the details in the morning.

There was a point to all of it once, but it becomes a lifestyle quickly. There is a sense of community that comes from that, very few of my class know what we want to do. So we come together on that by talking about nothing, smoking whatever someone has and leaving deadlines until the early hours. I will miss it. I will miss the lack of routine and the people. I will miss the awful accommodation and the talent of the school. Most of all I will miss the night.

XO, Miriam

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light and winter in the cold"

Great Expectations - 3/5

This is the first Charles Dickens book I have read since reading A Christmas Carol for my GCSEs. The story follows Pip who is both the main character and the narrator making him influential in the readers opinion of events as he becomes acquainted with Miss Havisham, and the resulting timeline. Because the narration is done with hindsight there are almost two Pips for the reader to understand. When reading the book I loved the fact that Pip has two very contrasting personality traits, on the one hand he aims to improve himself both intellectually and in terms of social status. But on the other hand at heart he is generous and sympathetic. This two contrasting characteristics made it hard
for me to decide whether I like him as a person or not.

One of the most difficult things I found about reading this books was how slow the plot progressed, at times I would get frustrated with the excess descriptive details. I also became irritated with the contrasting female characters of Miss Havisham, Mrs Joe, and Estella, however I think this might have the reaction Dickens was hoping for, as he tries to make a point about how happiness and well-being are separate from social class. To me Dickens represents the dramatic social change that occurred throughout the Victorian Era.

Overall Great Expectations taught me a lot about social class, love and how people can have two very opposing characteristics because of the events that have shaped their opinions.

Here is one of my favourite quotes from the book:

"I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. I loved her none the less because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection"

XO, Miriam

The past couple of the weeks of the challenge (original post here) have consisted of several different clear outs, from my cosmetics collection, my wardrobe and my daily habits. The experience has been somewhat therapeutic, especially given that I have incorporated new daily rituals like meditating before bed or before an important event, in to my life. I feel that I could do with clearing out all of my physical possesions again over then next few weeks, especially when I go home for the spring break from university, when I am swapping rooms with my sister, meaning I have a smaller living space just for myself.

One of the other focuses of the past few weeks has been analysing my personal habits and learning new skills. The main habitual actions I want to change in my life is finding more time to read, and to change the way I eat, by including more plant based meals into my diet. In terms of learning new skills I plan to spend some time over my break dedicated to learning more about web design with the hope to redesign this little corner of the web.

So far this challenge has helped me to remove any negativity in my life, as well as any unwanted material items.

XO, Miriam

A little fictional something about a young woman who attempted suicide and the way society perceives her:

It was mid February and it was raining as I walked home from where ever it was I had come from. The last few weeks have been a blur of tangles thoughts and nights spent knotted between the duvet and different people. All of those people I spent nights next to all have stories of heir own, but I am a reckless person right now seeking gratification for only myself. Nights like that make me forget all the questions, all of the people trying to work out where it when so wrong for their golden girl with blue hair.

I have left everyone who was ever close to me confused and guilty. Part of me feels bad for that but then I am surprised no one saw it coming. For me the biggest thing was he number of people who pretend that they have been your friend for years when it looks like you won't make it. I never knew I would be around to see the fall out of a few scars and stories. I'm unlucky I guess.

XO, Miriam

P.S. I know very little about those who survive suicide attempts and I am still trying to learn more about depression and the effects it can have on the person and those around them.

Source

Lately I have been browsing Pinterest and Tumblr for new sources of inspiration for my 30 Day Minimalism Challenge (here and here). The first quote is something that has always rung true for me, most of all while traveling, but recently I have been thinking I would rather go through life collecting amazing memories than objects. An example of this is, I could either spend my money on new clothes or other material items or spend my money on something that will give me an experience to remember, books, flight tickets or a new notebook.

Source

For me currently this means clearing out what I own, if it is no longer of use to me either physically or emotionally I shouldn't have it in my life. I feel like this theory can be applied to people as well, if someone makes you unhappy or unworthy of their presence then you shouldn't be around them if you can help it of course.

Source

This goes back to the first quote of wanting to experience more than I own, for me traveling and discovering the world is of the utmost importance for my spiritual and emotional experience in this life. I have some traveling experiences planned for this summer already both in and out of this little country I live in. I plan on writing about why traveling means so much to me in another post because I could go on for a while.

XO, Miriam

//Dress - River Island//Top - Free People//Tights - Joy//Necklace - Accessorize//Shoes - Converse//

The weather here in Oxford is starting to call for fewer layers, I'm not even hiding multiple coats and/or jumpers behind the camera today either. I can safely say I am looking forward to updating my wardrobe after a thorough clear out recently, so I can begin to create new combinations ready for the warmer weather. As the days get longer I become more inclined to change out of my pyjamas and out of bed to spend my days in beautiful sunshine, wearing my favourite clothes with people that make me happy.

This is a combination I have been considering for a while with different dresses. I chose this one not only because I still cannot seen to stop wearing Black 'n' White but because I enjoy the way the necklines pair up almost perfectly and the length of the dress allowed my to slip into these tights. If you have read my blog over the last couple of years then you will know I have an infatuation with Paris and these skyline tights have been a sort of staple in my drawers. I might even wear them when I head out to the city again later this year...

XO, Miriam